Okay, so maybe one more veggie dish...

For many a moon I have fussed and fretted with my wife to get a deep fryer, and the answer has always been no. Now, she's not unreasonable, and her refusal has been largely pragmatic. You see, our house and our kitchen are pretty damn small. In fact, I have absolutely no idea how I'm able to squirrel away the amount of culinary crap that I manage to own. I run my kitchen a lot like a U-Boat. Space is a premium that cannot be wasted. I believe I just recently put away a sack of potatoes into the keyboard drawer of a derelict computer cart! Soon, I'll get a chain-suspended cot to drop from the ceiling and I'll hot bunk in shifts with a bearded fellow named Johann. He'll handle breakfasts and torpedoing British freighters in the morning, and I'll come around for the second shift to tackle dinner and dodge depth charges. A pity I don't know any German sailing songs, and I'm pretty sure that Rammstein was gauche even back in the 1940's.

So exactly how on earth did I pull this con? She brought up the space issue again, and I countered by saying that I'd make room. She was unconvinced, so I brought out my wild card. I would make pakoras and bhajjis.

Among the first Indian food I ever made, these bite-sized potato and onion junk foods are some of my wife's favorite stuff. She says I make them better than anybody, and she's pretty good about not flattering me without meaning it. Did I mention I love to have my ego stroked? At any rate, that must've done the trick, because today I brought home a big ol' frying cauldron.

I also managed to pull down in a binge of capitalistic excess a nice clear plastic multi-portion dish. I planned to use the thing for Spanish Tapas, but my chances of finding a good Sherry in this one-horse town are hit and miss, so that was on a back burner. She wanted to fill the thing up for the two of us. I told her she was crazy, but I wanted to play with my fry monster!


Along with the fried vittles, I toasted up some naan, and served mango chutney, pickle, and some cold IPA. True to form, we didn't even get close to finishing half, but I guess we'll have fun eating leftovers. Not the healthiest thing in the world to be sure, but sometimes it's fun to have junk.